CONSIDERING CHILDREN

WHAT THE BIBLE SAYS ABOUT

Considering Children

Each of us have distinct strengths, passions and experiences that guide what we do in life. Marriage and parenting are a general calling that applies to most people of faith.

And while having children isn’t the only purpose for marriage, it is a foundational part of God’s call to couples who are able to conceive or willing to adopt. “Be fruitful and multiply” was the first charge God gave His creation in the garden.

When we bear and raise children we cooperate with God’s desire for a “Godly seed” (Malachi 2:15). Parenting is also the primary way most of us fulfill the call to lay our lives down for others (Philippians 2:4-8).

Producing and guiding the next generation is a mission that stretches us and pushes us to depend on God like few other things in life, all the while revealing and shaping our larger purpose within God’s plan for humanity.

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CHILDREN ARE A BLESSING

God calls children a blessing (Psalm 127:3-5). Even in the face of what one writer called the “bone-wearying work” of parenting, children provide the joyful reward of marital and parental love.

Studies consistently find that children are people’s greatest source of happiness.

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HOW AND WHEN MIGHT GOD GROW YOUR FAMILY?

Seek the Lord together as a couple as you begin considering this question. Every couple is different and there is no perfect “when” for having children.

Couples who marry in their late twenties and then spend a couple of years getting to know each other are often surprised to find that they are already pushing past their prime fertility season when they start thinking about having kids. You may also find that God may want to grow your family in various ways, including adoption and foster care.

Prayerfully seek God’s wisdom together about how and when to grow your family.

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Going Further

Get Married: What Women Can Do to Help it Happen  by Candice Watters

Watters makes the case that a biblical marriage is an honorable pursuit; one that women can help nurture along. Her book helps women see how they can live like they are planning to marry.

GOD IS YOUR PROVIDER

Couples seeking to start their families may feel overwhelmed by a variety of concerns about being pregnant, giving birth and adjusting their marriage, budget and lifestyles. This can be a natural response because children do change everything and push couples beyond themselves.

But God is faithful. Paul told the Corinthians, “And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work” (2 Corinthians 9:8). Having children is a good work and gives couples new opportunities to see how God is able to supply what they need.

Trust God and be open to His plan for you and your family. Know that His plans are perfect and beautiful.

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BE THE PARENT

Some parents interpret the need for relationship as a call to be good friends to their teens, but you need to be the parent – the one who brings stability and structure to the child’s life by setting boundaries and expectations.

Showing that kind of authority can be difficult for some, but it is an essential role of parenting. It can also be challenging to direct your teen in a way that doesn’t exasperate him or her (Ephesians 6:4) when you feel disrespected.

As the adult, you need to sacrifice your hurt feelings and anger to do what’s best for your teen. You are called as the parent to lovingly direct your teen through the challenges leading to adulthood. Ephesians 4:15 directs us to “speak the truth in love.”

Ask God to show you when it’s important to be tough and when you need to lead with gentleness and compassionate love.

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Living on the Edge exists to help Christians live like Christians. Established in 1995 as the radio ministry of pastor and author Chip Ingram, God has since grown it into an international discipleship ministry.

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